A lot of the patterns we run in our nervous system - things like low self esteem and self worth, inability to stay focused, inability to make wholesome decisions for ourselves, negative or undermining self talk, difficulty starting or completing projects, feelings of depression or low energy, to name a few - are patterns that developed in childhood. They are the results of the environments we spent time in, like our biological family systems, and early experiences we had in school, church and within our peer group(s). And more often than not, they were formed with incomplete information. 

You may be wondering “What does she mean by incomplete information?”

More often than not, any feelings of inadequacy developed as the result of some one else’s idea of what “such and such” should have looked like. They are the result of one point of view; namely the person or people who installed or imprinted certain experiences within you. And, over time that “experience or imprint” developed into the patterns that you are living with today.

Part of unwinding early childhood experiences, family conditioning and the process of addressing legacy material, is making sure you did not buy into another person's "internal story" about who you were or whatever was occurring that left an imprint on you.

So here’s the deal, any opinion someone developed about you is their business not yours. They formed it; they own it. 

When you take the time to unwind any destructive patterns or triggers that are running your neuromuscular system, you begin the process I call taking up the leadership of your life.

What you’ll learn in this process of unwinding wounding, including any long standing issues of low self esteem and feelings of inadequacy, guilt, shame, co-arising with a sense of chaos, anxiety and overwhelm, is that these feelings are a sign of a nervous system at odds with itself. A nervous system at odds with the imprints from childhood that were counter to the “innocence” of who you were as a developing child. 

These old imprints are running a mock in your neural structures and they are competing with your highest, brightest, clearest and most coherent self. 

You are not the opinions of the adults or peers from childhood and young adulthood. You are an open-ended journey of discovery, of growth, of learning, of trying life on and figuring out if you like what you tried and if not, you try again.

Just for this moment, remember that life is a moving expression of do something, learn something and, try again.

And remember, no attempt is final.... until you stop trying.

A client asked me the other day, with a bit of irritation, “why don’t you start with triggers since they are the things that throw us off course?”. I loved that question because it showed me she was really committed to her path of becoming her highest, brightest, clearest most coherent self. I asked very gently, “How would you know you were triggered if you didn’t fully posses the ability to know when you are truly relaxed?

After several moments she looked up and said “Cool. I am finally getting this thing you call taking up the leadership of your life. Those triggers I have are not totally mine but they do live in my body.”

To which I said “yes-ish”. “They are yours, as they live within and trigger your mind-body connection to react. But they also belong to another moment in time, where they got truncated and are still stuck in your neuromuscular circuitry. So why not give them back to that time? Or, at a minimum, let’s give them less space in your body, so you can be free to express something other than that reaction.”

Any time you have a reactive “out of context” experience to something said in conversation, something watched on TV or in a movie, when you see something, hear something, taste something, feel something and it causes you to react vs. respond to the moment, that’s generally a sign that you have an unresolved past experience still operating in your nervous system. It’s also a sign that you will be well served if you shift the reaction-response ratio more in the direction of being able to respond.

And just so you know, I see this is a good news-great news scenario.

The good news is you are now ready to process that experience to a more complete resolution. The very fact that you are aware of this trigger and reaction is a sign that you are in a good position to engage it consciously. And, the fact that it showed itself to you is the first step of the healing process. So good job!

The great news is by participating in Engaging Your Wholeness Yoga Nidra, you will move along the path of resolving this issue before it grows into something else within your body-mind.

Unresolved past moments can turn into personality traits that develop a whole approach to relationships that are engendering of competition instead of collaboration. They could turn into a habit of frustration or irritation that becomes a baseline of experience for your entire life. They could turn into headaches or stomach aches or poor digestion so it’s important to notice these kinds of side-effects from reactivity. 

By activating the relaxation response in your mind-body connection, especially after an incident of anxiety, stress, & overwhelm or a strong mental-emotional reaction, you begin to give those energies, and any stories attached to them, less real estate in your neuromuscular circuitry. And as you get more adept at activating the relaxation response when you need it, your mind-body connection gets better at healing patterns from a previous time stuck in your body.

Are you ready to re-sculpt your nervous system for ease?

It’s common knowledge that having less stress in our lives lowers our heart rate and blood pressure. It reduces the flood of cortisol and adrenaline in our blood stream and overall reduces inflammation, potentially disrupting the on-set of various diseases. Having less stress also allows more of your brain to participate in the present moment because our amygdala and brain stem are less likely to coop the moment, truncating our executive functioning and decision making abilities. 

Many would agree that having less stress in our lives improves our physical, emotional and mental health. I believe that knowing how to turn on the relaxation response can exponentially improve the quality of your life far beyond these baseline measurements.

As you learn how to turn on the relaxation response, you also need to cultivate a sense of responsibility for the nutrition you allow into your being: emotional, mental, physical. As an individual taking up the leadership of your life, you understand that a major part of your life’s work now includes how you care for your mind-body connection and your emerging Self. 

You generously employ the practice of conscious consent as you consider any decision such as, “do I want to watch the news, read a book or take a walk around the lake?” When faced with a choice of restaurants, do you go to the loud one or the one with a calmer ambience? Is this a moment where I want to digest an action movie or one that opens my heart?

It's important to consider the environments you find yourself in and stay attentive to noticing which side of your nervous system they feed: the stress oriented side or the relaxation oriented side. And remember, your environments are communicating with all of your senses: visual, tactile, auditory, gustatory and olfactory. 

You may be thinking “wow, this conscious embodiment process is complicated”

And, yes, it can be until it isn't.

There comes a tipping point where you just naturally move away from what does not serve you and in the direction of what does. You naturally are drawn towards that which resonates with this new state of ease in your nervous system. 

Are you ready to become your highest, brightest, clearest most coherent Self? 

I sure hope so. 

This world needs the gifts and talents deep within you, waiting silently to emerge, and unfold, into their full potential.